One of the first things women think about when they start considering a boudoir photography session is lingerie. What should I wear? Do I need to buy something new? What actually looks good in boudoir photographs? Do I even own anything sexy enough?
Then they open the lingerie drawer.
And fucking hell, there’s a lot going on in there.
After photographing women for years, I’ve realized our lingerie drawers are wonderfully weird little places. Not in some ridiculous magazine personality-quiz way where black lace apparently means you’re mysterious and red means you’re “passionate.” I mean they contain bits and pieces from different bodies, relationships, ages and versions of ourselves.
There’s the woman with one good bra. The woman who buys gorgeous lingerie and never actually wears it. The woman whose favorite knickers are being held together by hope and approximately three remaining strands of elastic. Then there’s the woman with fifty beautiful sets who opens the drawer before her boudoir session and announces she has “absolutely nothing to wear.”
Honestly, women are freakin’ hilarious.
But underneath all of that, I think our lingerie drawers sometimes reveal something much more interesting about the way we see and treat ourselves.
Do I Need To Buy New Lingerie For A Boudoir Session?
Ideally? Yes!
Unless you have a slight lingerie addiction and your drawers are already overflowing with lace, straps and things that require an instruction manual to get into, chances are you haven’t treated yourself to something properly sexy in a while.
So think of it as part of the experience. Your boudoir session is already something you’re doing entirely for yourself, and choosing a gorgeous new set that makes you feel incredible is another little gift to yourself along the way. And please don’t panic if the thought of lingerie shopping immediately has you wondering where the hell to start. I know all the best places to shop, and I can help you choose pieces that complement the look, mood and style we’re creating for your session.
Fear not – You’re not being thrown into the lingerie wilderness alone!
On the other hand, you might already own that set. You know the one. You bought it because you absolutely loved it and you’ve been aching for an excuse to be seen in it, but somehow the right occasion has never materialized. Well, I’d say a boudoir photography session is a pretty damn good occasion to finally drag that beauty out of the drawer and give it the attention it deserves.
And sexy doesn’t automatically mean complicated, expensive or barely-there. Some of my favorite images have been created with incredibly simple pieces. A bra you already love. A bodysuit. An oversized shirt. Your favorite knickers. Something completely unexpected that you nearly left at home because you didn’t think it was “boudoir enough.”
The important question isn’t “Is this sexy enough?” It’s “How do I feel when I wear it?” Because if you put something on and immediately stand differently, catch yourself checking out your own ass in the mirror or think “Fucking hell, I look good,” then we’re onto something.
So, What Should You Wear For A Boudoir Photography Session?
When women ask me what to wear for a boudoir shoot, they often expect there to be rules.
There really aren’t any rules (surprise, surprise!)
That’s why preparing for a boudoir session isn’t about turning yourself into somebody else or arriving already knowing exactly what you’re doing. In fact, women apologize to me for that all the time, not knowing how to pose, feeling awkward, being nervous or worrying they’ll somehow be terrible at it. I wrote an entire blog about The Things Every Woman Apologizes For, because believe me, you are definitely not the only one having those thoughts.
Lingerie can photograph beautifully, but there isn’t one particular style of underwear that magically makes someone look good in boudoir photographs. Different pieces create different moods, and what works for one woman might feel completely wrong for another.
That’s why preparing for a boudoir session isn’t about turning yourself into somebody else.
Because lingerie is part of the styling. You are the woman I’m photographing.
If you love delicate lace, bring it. If you feel incredible in a bodysuit, brilliant. If you prefer something simple, wear something simple. If something is sitting in your wardrobe that makes you feel ridiculously good every time you put it on, I want to know about it.
The Things We’re Waiting To Fit Into Again
There’s another section of the lingerie drawer that I think deserves talking about. The things that don’t fit anymore but remain firmly tucked away because throwing them out feels strangely impossible.
Maybe you wore them before having children. Maybe your body was smaller, bigger or simply different. And for so many women, becoming a mom can completely change the relationship they have with their body, not to mention how often they put themselves somewhere near the bottom of the list. It’s something I’ve talked about before in Why Moms Deserve a Boudoir Session, because sometimes doing something that is entirely, unapologetically for you is long overdue.
Bodies do change.
They carry us through pregnancies, menopause, illness, stress, celebrations, grief, fantastic holidays, boring Mondays and everything else life decides to throw at us. Yet we’re incredibly good at keeping reminders of previous versions of ourselves and quietly using them as measuring sticks.
Sometimes that old lingerie isn’t really lingerie anymore. It’s evidence.
Evidence of a size you once wore, a body you once had or a woman you think you’re supposed to become again. But what if you’re not supposed to go backwards?
What if the body you have now deserves lingerie that fits it beautifully?
Maybe Your Lingerie Drawer Is Telling You Something
Perhaps yours is beautifully organized and full of matching sets. Maybe opening it currently requires one hand to hold everything down while the other performs a maneuver normally associated with closing an overpacked suitcase (you know exactly what I mean!)
Neither tells me whether you’re confident, sexy, shy or adventurous. But I do think the things we save can tell us something.
How many beautiful things have you bought for yourself and then decided you weren’t quite ready to enjoy them? How many are waiting until you lose weight, feel more confident, meet somebody, have an occasion or finally become whatever version of yourself you’ve decided gets permission to wear them?
Because this isn’t really about knickers anymore, is it?
We’re very good at saving ourselves for later.
Later, when the body changes. Later, when life calms down. Later, when we feel confident. Later, when somebody else gives us a reason. Later, when we’ve somehow earned the right to enjoy the things we already wanted.
And later can steal a lot of years if you let it!
Wear The Lingerie!!!
So perhaps this is your reminder to go and open that drawer (I double dare you!)
Throw away the knickers that have served their country and deserve a dignified retirement. Stop keeping underwear that makes you feel shit every time you see the size on the label. Find the gorgeous set you bought two years ago and have been waiting for an occasion to wear.
Then wear the damn thing.
Wear it under your work clothes. Wear it while doing the school run. Wear it while sitting at your desk answering emails. Wear it on an entirely ordinary Wednesday when absolutely nobody else knows what you’ve got underneath your clothes.
Because you knowing is enough.
And if there’s a piece of lingerie in that drawer that you’ve been saving until you feel confident enough, sexy enough or brave enough to wear it for a boudoir session, maybe stop waiting for that woman to arrive.
She’s already standing in front of the drawer.
Before you go…
If you found this blog because you’ve been searching for boudoir photography, wondering what to wear for a boudoir session or quietly considering whether you could ever actually do something like this yourself, have a look around Boudoir by Laurette and see the shit hot work I get to create with real women.
You don’t have to go from reading a blog about your knicker drawer to booking a session before you’ve finished your coffee, though, but you could sign up for my monthly newsletter. It’s where I share my latest boudoir blogs, studio news, model calls, special offers and the more personal stuff that doesn’t always make it onto social media.
Finally, throw those knickers away with the hole in them (you’ll feel better immediatley!)
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